I know the last time I said something about parents being friends and how that could cause problems. The same thing is true if they are too controlling.
Parenting is not easy and it is constantly a learning process. My parents have never had me at the age of 52, so for them that is a new experience. I have never had my daughter at 20 nor my son at 18 and even if I had another child that was older, they are individuals not robots; therefore each experience is new.
I know there are so many books out there that try to teach you how to parent, but honestly I find most them to be crap. Parenting like anything else is a trial and error experience. Just because something worked on one child does not mean it will work on another.
Now I do believe that children should be disciplined, but I also believe that children should have the freedom to make mistakes to a point. All children should be taught right from wrong and be held accountable for when they do something wrong.
With that said, Parents need to let their children grow and experience joy, happiness, sadness, sorrow, pain, pleasure, and the ability to make mistakes that are not devastating to them physically or mentally. However, some parents want to control every aspect of their childs life. That is a huge mistake. How do you expect your child to grow to become a mature adult.
My son is currently dating a very nice and pretty young lady. However, her dad controls all of her emails because she may miss something that is important. My philosophy is let them miss something that is important, they will learn. It does not stop there, the mom has dictated to both her son and daughter what they can and cannot due with regards to their own lives as far as schooling, housing, when and where they can travel too, and other life aspects.
I believe in guiding children and will sit down to talk to my kids as though they are young adults. For example, my son has decided to take only 12 credits this semester and in my opinion, that is a mistake and I expressed concern, but the mistake is his to make and learn from.
My daughter was all upset about a professor in how he was acting. I sat down to talk to her about why she was so upset. Turns out because she was not really use to the teachers way of doing things. I told her that I kind of liked his approach and thought it made her decide if she wanted a B versus an A and the requirements she must meet to obtain the desired grade. The responsibility fell into her lap versus being told that she must do this or do that, the professor gave them an option.
Proverbs 22:6 New International Version (NIV)
6 Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
I pray that if you are a controlling parent, that you are able to recognize this and change your ways before it becomes too late. I pray that you are able to let go of your child so they can grow to become mature adults who are able to handle life’s issues. I pray that you will have wisdom to provide to your children. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.