I know I have said that children should obey their parents and that is true, but parents at some point in time have to let their children grow up. In today’s America, parents are trying to keep their children as little kids in to their 20’s and 30’s.
I realize that parents do not want their kids to suffer, but we need to back off and let them try and fail. If they never fail at anything, then they will never be prepared for the real world. What I mean by this is that once they do fail, they will not be able to handle the fallout. This could lead to stress induced anxiety, depression, and possibly suicide. This could also lead to drug abuse and extreme outbursts of anger.
My wife and I are not perfect, but our philosophy was when they were in elementary school we would fight their battles. Once they were in middle school we would continue to fight their battles, but only after they tried to work it out at least once or twice. When they were in high school, I expected them to work out their own problems and only use us as a last resort. As young adults I now let them suffer a bit in their struggles and fully expect them to work out their own problems, but they know they can come to us and talk about their solutions and we will give them advice. Our goal is to provide very little interference in their adult lives unless they are completely going off the rails.
My son broke up with his girlfriend after like a 1.5 to 2 years of dating. We were both a bit concerned so I sat down and talked to him. He told me a lot of why he broke up with her, but it was not until we took a trip to Louisville KY that the real reason came out. We talked with him a little more after the new information since this was his first real girlfriend and breakup, but have ultimately left it up to him as to how he handles it all. If my wife or I tried to take the responsibility away from him, he would never grow.
Now I look at Lavar Ball and how he is handling his sons stealing. He is not letting his son accept responsibility for his actions, but instead is blaming everyone else and acting like it is no big deal. He needs to stop and let his son grow-up and accept whatever punishment is coming his way.
Ephesians 4:15 New International Version (NIV)
15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
1 Corinthians 13:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
Parents, I know it is hard to let your children grow up, but you have to. If you keep babying them as young adults, then they will never grow up and be able to function normally in society. I realize we want to step in and crush whatever is hurting our kids and that is fine for a time, but eventually we need to take a step back. If you are having problems letting your children grow-up, then ask God for help.