I went with my wife last night to grocery shop, that was probably mistake number 1 since I am not a big shopper. I like and hate the store we went too. They charge a lot more for stuff than the other local stores, to the point that unless it is on sale, you will pay 20 to 80% more. That adds up fast and I am the type of person that spends as little on food as well as other consumables as possible. It is consumed one time and then it is gone, why spend more than you need. I will say the reason I like them is because they do contribute back to the community more so than some of the others and a lot more than a very popular one.
There were a few things that aggravated me and I said each one once. We bought crab for crab dip which is expensive and then the list of items. I was told it was a small list. I am thinking 3 to 4, no it ended up being almost half a shopping car full of stuff. I made a comment about the crab saying it was expensive and I hope our daughter knew this, but it was my wife who wanted the crab dip. I said nothing about it afterwards. I made a comment about the list and that her idea and mine of a short list is completely different. I did add that it would be 30 to 40 more at this store than another all in the same conversation as the list. I ended the conversation by saying, but if it gives you peace of mind to shop here where it is less crowded than at the other store, ok. I said I was fine and I meant just that.
Some how, that got translated into that I was constantly saying something and criticizing her. I told her in the parking lot as we were putting away stuff do not overreact. Well when we got into the vehicle, we both started. Then I got extremely mad and was yelling and cursing at the top of my lungs. She asked me why I was talking to her in that way and it was a fair question. After the question, I shut-up completely and for the next 10 to 20 minutes I said nothing. When we got home, I got the groceries, and cleaned the kitchen after we entered.
When I get quiet, that is usually bad. When I get quiet, it is far worse than when I am yelling or cursing. The yelling is like a dogs bark, it is a warning. The quiet is just before the strike. Now I would never hit my wife or do anything else that is physical. I try not to cause emotional damage either, but I am sure I have over the years. It is my way of saying back off.
She started again. Then I answered her question with this. Unless I talk that way it seems that no one wants to hear it. I prefer not to talk that way and that loud, but…. I left it pretty much at that. I then followed up with I said something twice and pointed out to her the times I said it. I repeated and use two fingers to show her it was twice, not continuously. It was you that continued after I had mentioned it. I also told her this then as I have in the past. I am a simple person. There is no between the lines, so stop trying to read something when nothing is there to read. When I say something that is what I mean. If I am upset you will know it, I am usually not very quiet about it. If I am upset and I say I am fine, that is exactly what I mean. Me being upset is my issue and if left alone I am typically over it in a few minutes. It is when I am prodded that things can go badly. If I am upset and want to talk about it, I will.
I apologized for the language and the yelling. Was it called for? No. Was it Christian? Absolutely not. Here is how I have been described by my wife. I am a big cuddly teddy bear until, then I turn into the beast with razor sharp talons that can cut through anything. I prefer to be the big cuddly teddy bear.
What is more important is that I think this was one of the shortest fights with resolution we ever had. Thank you God!