Marriage is hard. I could stop right there and I am sure most of you would agree. Marriage is about communicating with one another.
One of the biggest problems in marriages is that couples do not communicate. Sure they may think they do because their body language is saying something or they think they are using their words appropriately or they have this notion that the other should automatically know how they feel, but when the other does not understand then you are not effectively communicating. In the end, they fight about money, kids, jobs, friends, sex, and then one or the other or both just give up because they have had enough.
I am not a marriage expert, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Most of this is from observing and talking to others as well as my own relationship with my wife. We have our problems just like any other couple.
Today, I was a bit upset with my wife. I did not tell her, so when she reads this she may be a bit upset. Should I have told her that I was upset with her? Some may say yes and some may say no and others may say it depends on why you were upset with her.
Since I chose not tell my wife that I was upset with her, should I expect her to automatically know? Unless you make it blatantly obvious, then the answer is no and even then the answer may be no. She may be dealing with her own stuff and even though I may be obvious about being upset with her, she may not recognize that I am.
Is that her fault or mine or both? I have to say that initially it is my fault for not telling her that I was upset. If I had, and I communicated it in a way she understood, then and only then does it fall on her.
So if you chose to hold on to being upset with your spouse, then learn to deal with it. Otherwise, learn to communicate with each other so both of you understand. This may mean using your words in a way that does involve yelling or cursing or degrading the other. Do not expect the other to read your body language or even your voice inflections. Learn to talk to each other in a respectful and loving way.