Sitting here reflecting on my life, I have to admit that I am ashamed of how I have treated people at times. Before I met my wife of 20 years and counting, I had some kind of relationship with roughly 14 women. I ended every relationship due to some stupid issue and the way I ended those relationships was typically pretty harsh, basically I was an absolute ass.
I ask myself why did I act that way? I usually convince myself that it was better to end it harshly so they could move on, but who am I kidding. It was not really for them, but for me. It made my life easier to not have to deal with them calling or anything else when I broke the relationship off.
As time as gone on, I find myself wondering how those women are doing? Did I screw up their life and no it is not thinking that I was so important in their life they could not move on, but more did I hurt them really badly in some way that it made them unable to trust others for a period of time. People without meaning too, can really impact another persons life.
My wife tells me I am a good father, but I look at how they turned out and sometimes I really have to wonder. Are they bad, no, but they act like me in a lot of ways and I have to say that I am not proud of those moments.
So I come back to my original thought of how I treat others? There is an old saying that if you cannot say something nice, do not say anything at all. That is really hard at times, especially in the business world. Not everything everyone does is correct and they need to be told when they are doing something wrong.
Do I think we have taken this politically correct thing too far, absolutely. You cannot please everyone because in trying to do so you will actually offend everyone at some point. However, this does not mean we cannot be nice in the way we even correct others.
So what do I do? What has been popping into my head the entire time is basically the golden rule of treat others as you want to be treated. This leads back to what Christ said:
Matthew 22:39 New International Version (NIV)
39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
So even though we have been given this direction, why do we not do this everyday? I am not really sure. I think that some of it has to do with being caught up in the moment and not thinking how it will affect others.
James 1:19 New International Version (NIV)
Listening and Doing
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Maybe if we each took a little more time to stop and listen before we spoke things might be different. I know I am guilty of this where I have a thought in my head and want to get it out so I end up interrupting people.
2 Corinthians 10:5New International Version (NIV)
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
So the next time you are interacting with someone and you think it is going to end up being a negative interaction, ask your self what would Christ do and think before you speak.
I pray that you will be able to end relationships in a way that is makes it ok for both parties. I also pray that you gain wisdom, patience, and the ability to just listen and think before you actually speak.
God bless you