It is amazing to me that in these days conflict resolution is one of those skills that seems to have been lost. People use violent actions such as yelling/screaming, fighting, stabbing, and even guns to resolve their issues with others. It use to be that you could talk to others in a calm fashion to resolve conflicts, but these days it seems that everyone is hateful and they are never wrong or at fault.
My son moved into an apartment with a few friends this week. He asked up front before he saw the rooms if he could have the master bedroom if there was one or one of the larger rooms. Their reply was go ahead and take the room
One day into the room and the other two voted and decided that if he is out of the apartment for more than 5 days he would lose his room. Say what? First off that should be consensus, not majority. This decision only affected him and it did not go the reverse direction. Second these types of decisions should have been decided up front before they moved in. Third, the roommates should have never said take the room without first looking at the apartment. He talked to the one roommate who was a bit upset with the room size and they worked it out. My son handled the conflict very well and in the end everything worked out. He was not hateful, but very understanding and offered the one roommate some space in his room.
A friend of mine who is a big black man held the door open for en elderly man today. The Elderly man said something to the effect that he was capable and did not need any help from a half-breed nigger to hold open the door. What is up with people? Why not just say thank you instead of being so dang mean. My friend said and did nothing, but if he wanted too, he probably could have squashed this man like a bug. He made some comments that took all of his internal strength to not do something mean in return, but prayed and was able to keep calm. This could have gone wrong in so many ways, but he handled the situation very well.
Romans 12:17-21 New International Version (NIV)
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Thank you two for being an inspiration to others. I know my son is a Christian, but not sure about my friend. However, I believe that he is.
I pray that if you are having problems with others in your life that you read the above passage from Romans as well as any others that may help you with your internal conflict. I also pray that God will help you to handle conflict the way Christ would. I further pray that God would give you internal piece so you will remain calm even if the conflict does not go your way.