Criticism

In our society today, if anyone criticizes someone else, it is the person that is criticizing that is the enemy and treated as though they are the plague versus accepting the criticism as something where that person can improve.  Not sure when all this came about, but if I had to guess, somewhere in the 1940’s or 1950’s.

Here is an example, the other day a person turning gave no signal.  I asked him to give a signal next time and the next thing that comes out of his mouth is “fuck you”. Really?  First it is the law to use signal and second it is the right thing to do to let people know your intentions.  However, instead of this person accepting that he should have used the turn signal, I was wrong for pointing it out.

Now take a boss, it is the responsibility of a boss to help an employee grow and some of that my include criticism of an employees performance..  However, in these days, if a boss says anything in the way of criticism towards the employee, it is the boss who is wrong and written up if not fired.  Why?  Because the employee will simply claim something that is not true about the boss and of course we have to believe the employee even at the expense of destroying the boss.

The Psychologists will tell you that criticism fails for these reasons, see https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201404/whats-wrong-criticism

1. It calls for submission, and we hate to submit.
2. It devalues, and we hate to feel devalued.

I completely disagree.  It does not necessarily require submission or devalue.  Why do I say this?  Sometimes criticism is necessary to make people think about what they are doing.  For example, by me telling the driver to use his turn signal, I just might make him think about it next time.  Part of the problem is that we have coddled our youth and believe that doctors, scientists, sociologists, and psychologists have all the answers.  They do not!

The bible does talk about harsh words, but asking a person to use their signal is not harsh words.

Proverbs 15:1 New International Version (NIV)

Ephesians 4:29 New International Version (NIV)

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

If we do not let people know they have done something wrong, then our country/world will start to plunge into chaos. Wait, it is already heading in that direction.  Laws as an example are put in place for a reason. Sure you could think it is to control the public, but it is more to establish some kind of order.  Without order there is chaos and no peace.

1 Corinthians 14:33 New International Version (NIV)

³³ For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.

Do people need to be criticized, I believe the answer is yes.  Can they be criticized in a way that makes them grow?  Of course.  Do we have to be mean when we criticize, the answer is no, but sometimes that is all a person understands. In other words being nice gets you no where.

I know I am a person who criticizes and sometimes my words are very harsh.  It is not the kind of person I want to be, but lets face it, this country is spiraling out of control and down the toilet.  My criticism is not to devalue people or make them submit, but because these people are causing chaos.  Can I take criticism?  Yes and I do often no matter how it is said.

I pray that myself and others like me will be able to give criticism in a constructive way and to accept criticism. So many that give cannot receive.  I pray that people will realize the way they are acting and how it is affecting our society.  I am a realist and do not expect everyone to open their eyes, but if even 1 does, then that is worth it.