I was raised as a Christian until about the 5th or 6th grade and then something happened in my life at a church with an elder. No it was nothing abusive/sexual, but it had a profound impact on my life. Now I could continue to blame that person for what happened, but I am an adult and need to take responsibility for my actions.
After that incident, my family did not attend church much and actually fell away from the Lutheran Christian religion. As time went on and not being exposed to Christ or His teachings, I became a cynical and grumpy person. Do not get me wrong, I am not like this all the time. Most of this behavior comes out when I am on the road.
I actually finding myself hating people and the way they are acting today makes it easier and easier to hate them. I find people for the most part to be rude, obnoxious, self centered, hateful, bitter, arrogant, unforgiving, and entitled. Now one could assume that I am all of these and that might be true, but I can definitely relate to the hateful, bitter, and unforgiving.
Tonight, it was raining and instead of people being in the right lane and driving slow, no they have to be in the left lane and go 50 mph or slower on a 65 mph road without real justification in my opinion(we all know what that is worth). I understand being cautious, but get over. For one it is the law in our state and secondly it can cause dangerous driving conditions. A person in the left lane going 60+ will quickly approach a person going 50 which could spell disaster. I am telling this because it made me start to think.
I have no idea when I started with road type rage/complaining or being hateful towards people, but I know it was a long time ago. When I first started driving, I was not this way. I use to roll with the punches, but now the anger seems come naturally almost as though it is habit. It could be due to all those years of being exposed to my parents and their attitudes towards others, but again I am an adult and can change if I want.
My wife is the one that usually hears me complain about these people. She even made a comment tonight in truth and jest that these people never hear what I have to say. Well that is not 100% true, but for the most part it is. If I happen to get next to a someone and they have their window down, I will let them have it.
Habits or addictions are one of the hardest things to break. I know that I cannot do this on my own. In other words I will need God to help me if I want to truly change. God has told me through Christ to love everyone and lets face it, at times I behave opposite to His word. So please pray for me to change.