I am sure anyone who has been married or dated has fought with their spouse or partner or boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. The question is why are you fighting.?
Proverbs 18:2 New International Version (NIV)
2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding
but delight in airing their own opinions
Today my wife asked me a series of questions all in a row while I was in a meeting/audit. I had told her multiple times that this week was going to be busy and that I would be in an audit; however, she decides to text me these questions. I reply with
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes to almost anything else you are going to ask me.
I get a reply back about being snotty about it. My reply to her was very long winded so to speak when I was able to get away. Basically told her yes I did have to get snotty about it, but to be honest I did not think my yes reply was snotty as much as answering all of her questions at one time and hopefully she would get the answer.
Then I proceeded to tell her that I have already told her at least 6 times that I had an audit this week and would be busy. Her reply was that she cannot remember all the details of my job. First off, what details of my job did I ask you to remember that I would be busy? I proceeded to tell her that when she says she is going to be busy I remember all of this. Her excuse is that her memory is failing her. My reply was go get help.
Did it really get heated no, but we were in a pseudo argument over text. Will I stay mad? No, I am just writing this to tell people that have someone in their life no matter who it is that you will at one point or another argue/fight.
Is it a big deal? That depends on you. Are you the type of person that has to win at all costs even if it makes your significant other upset to the point of where they are almost in tears, then I would say that is a big deal.
How quickly should you resolve the argument? That really depends on you. For me I need to get away for just a few seconds to calm down, but for my wife she needs to resolve it right there and then. The two make for an interesting make exchange.
Proverbs 20:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel.
I always heard that you need to make up before you go to bed because it allows you to stew over the argument. I have never had a problem going to bed after a fight and I am never upset in the morning. In fact, I usually am over the fight in about 15 seconds after the argument ends. However, is it just about me and the answer is no. You may need to talk about the fight with the other person or people.
Ephesians 4:26 New International Version (NIV)
26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
Am I saying that you should not argue? I am saying that you need to choose your words and choose them wisely. I have hurt my wife with some simple words on more than one occasion and to be honest, I think that was my intent. Figured if I hurt her enough that would end the argument and it did. However, what did I win? To be honest, not much other than a wife who was hurt by my words. That is a really great accomplishment.
It would have been better to check my tongue and think about what I was going to say before anything ever left my lips. Then to be honest not really say anything at all or only say something that was relevant to the argument, but in a loving way.
Proverbs 10:19 New International Version (NIV)
19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
but the prudent hold their tongues.
I pray that if you are fighting with someone, that if you are like me and let the words fly before actually thinking, that God will grant you the wisdom and patience to withhold saying anything that will be hurtful. I also pray that God will help you to understand what the other person is going through so you do not think you have to win the argument at all costs. It is ok to talk about what is bothering you, but not at the expense of another. In Jesus name I pray for this for you, Amen.