There is a book out there called “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”. Is it ever so true.
This past weekend, my wife and I go into a fight. It was about communication. I typically give short answers and she expects details.
To me the rest of the information that is given is really meaningless unless I want to know why. For example, she may ask “How was your day?” My reply, “Busy!” To her that is not a lot of information, but to me that says it all.
If you ask most men the same question and they provide the same answer busy, they understand. To us it means there was a lot of work with very little downtime or some variation of that. Do I need to know all the little details about why it was so busy, no. So why do I have to say all of that when I can say it all in one word “Busy” or two words ” Very busy”.
Woman on the other hand want to feel connected to their husbands or boyfriends and want them to explain not was it only busy, but how was it busy. To most men this is very frustrating as most of us want to put the day behind us, not relive it. Why do I want to relive the day, it is in the past? Especially if it was a rough hard day that I just want to forget.
This happens to me a lot as I travel home on Thursday and when I get home I asked how was my trip? Typical response from me is fine, just a few idiots on the road. Sometimes that is an acceptable answer, but other times it is not. I am home, I want to forget the idiots on the road, not recall the times when a person was in the left lane driving under the speed limit forcing me to pass them on the right and then deciding to go faster or when a truck pulls over in front of you forcing you to slam your brakes or when a person has their super bright lights on that is blinding.
Why can’t woman understand that we want to let those things go, not rehash them over and over. Who does that really help? No one in the end.
Christ when teaching tried to give enough detail to help people, but most of the time His answers were short and to the point. He did not go into a lengthy explanation when he called the Pharisees and Sadducee’s hypocrites. Also, God in His 10 commandments does not go into lengthy explanations.
There is a time to give more details and there is time to be short and to the point. Also, there needs to be a healthy balance so the wife does not feel like she is not needed. Which is what this is really all about in my humble opinion.
If you have a husband/boyfriend who feels like they are not giving you enough information or a wife/girlfriend that feels like you never talk to them, then I urge you put yourself into the other person’s shoes and think about it from their point of view. What can you do that helps the person feel more connected without reliving the past?
Ultimately, I urge you to pray to God and ask for help.